Revolt by Qaisra Shahraz

Revolt is one of the first few books I managed to finish for the start of 2014 and I think you should totally read it up too. Why so? My review is below. 

Revolt by Qaisra Shahraz

I wanted to leave a customer review on Amazon itself but because I have not bought any books from Amazon, I am not allowed to do so although I am definitely going to order some books online, possibly as soon as possible.

Reading has been challenging during the start of the new year due to a lot of recent happenings in my family especially with the festive seasons but I am so glad I managed to squeeze in time to read this book. 

Revolt is beautifully engaging. My feet was on tiptoe the entire time my eyes ran through the words on the book as the stories flowed from page to page, gripping my heart from the first to the last. My emotions catapulted like a chameleon, raging from intense anger and grief to shedding tears of joy and thrill as I felt the loss, desire, passion and sacrifice of the characters. 

The descriptive motions led me picturing myself living in the story amidst the rich traditions and cultures of the Pakistani way of life. Important issues concerning many Asian women and men particularly of contradicting values between modernity, faith and tradition were cleverly brought to light and addressed. The striking contrast between the rich and the poor depicted in the stories are very real in the world we are living in today. This made me ponder on the times I have turned my head away from those who are in need. Read on and perhaps you might be moved to take action to do something about poverty in your area.

I sensed my heart rising in rebellion as each character revolted in the name of love. How often have we encountered these people in our community but shun them from our lives? Perhaps reading this will melt our heart a little and enabled us to embrace the differences that each individual brings. 

Revolt was not only a truly enjoyable read but intelligent as well. I'm an inch wiser now as each character's beliefs and actions taught me a thing or two about love, life and faith. I hope I get to visit Pakistan someday and witness the rich cultures described vividly in the book and of course, to taste all the delicious food mentioned. 

I'm definitely looking forward to reading more of Qaisra's works. 

Be Thankful for the Good and Bad Times of 2013

I just came back from the hospital and another illness is added to the list! Doctor confidently diagnosed my bald patch as Alopecia Areata and asked me to use the same topical treatment cream I applied on my Vitiligo patches.

For those who didn’t know, last year I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, Disc Herniation and Sciatica. In between all that, I have frequent diaarrhoea, food poisoning, sinusitis, sleep disruption, headaches and etc. Earlier this year, Vitiligo came and leeched itself on me. Just last month, the doctor guessed I have Neuritis and today, I am given Alopecia. Wow, what’s next?

As I googled up on Alopecia, it says that 1 in 5 people would progress to total baldness. So I’m going bald after turning slowly into a leopard with spots? What other autoimmune disorders will creep up? How disfigured will I get? Will I be shunned by society? Hmmm…should I freak out? For some reason, I am unusually calm although I can’t say I am not disappointed, upset or more sombre than usual.

Beginning of this year, I quit my stressful job and came back to my hometown. I’ve been ‘jobless’ for almost a year although I do get part time/freelance stuffs once in a while. The illnesses have taken a toll on my body physically, mentally, emotionally and even spiritually. I’ve gained 10 kgs since last year. Tomorrow is the last day of the year. Should I lash curses at God and hold resentment against him? Should I throw away all smiles and laughter and wallow in self-pity? I think not.

As I look back at this past year of 2013, there is much to be thankful for. Yes, even in my multiple sicknesses and trials and losses, I am thankful. I won’t put up a front and tell you that it has been a breeze and every day I had wakened up being grateful. I confess I have been bitterly frustrated, depressed, fearful, doubtful and even angry at God many times. Why did the Almighty God allow heaps of things to happen to me?

 Well, He’s God and I’m not. Therefore, I will never completely understand and grasp the big picture that He has in mind. I believe He has a plan for all these. He always does. He promises in

Romans 8:28 ‘We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.’

If God can give Sarah a child at her impossible old age and raised Lazarus from the dead, I am sure there is nothing that is impossible for Him. There must be something good out of all these trials and sufferings.

First and foremost, I am very grateful for the Lord’s grace and strength for helping me get through my painful days and days when I felt hope was just too far away. I am especially thankful for His constant Providence through unexpected sources that has kept me going although I was and still am technically jobless. I even get to go on several travel trips overseas through sponsors! I also thank God for the generous love from my family and friends. I still get to celebrate Christmas where many are homeless and cannot even go to church because of terrible disasters like the typhoon that plagued so many Filipinos. I am thankful for shelter and food and looking at my size, I’m sure you will know that there is always plenty of food on the table, if not too much. 

I would also like to thank God for the many times I've been hurt, misunderstood, rejected and humiliated for at times like these, I felt I had a glimpse of God's painful sacrifice for us. I thank God for all my illnesses because they keep me a little humbler and dependable on God for without Him I cannot go on especially on days when my physical strength is at its lowest. It was at times like these that I sometimes felt the closest to God although there were many times that I thought He had abandoned me. Again, those times were crucial to help me develop my faith. I sure hope it is not diminishing but growing instead. I am glad to still be alive, kicking and moving where millions have died or became bed-ridden.

Due to my ‘joblessness’, I have time on my hands and I have been immersing myself in creative projects from crafts, paintings and especially writing. Writing has always been a childhood dream buried and forgotten because it is not something someone in my country would encourage you to take seriously especially if it involves fiction or storytelling. Same goes to painting. There are plenty of poor artists around me and those who cared didn’t want me to end up like them. I am thankful however that my family supports my endeavours and although most of them do not understand or even read my writings especially my poetry, they never stopped me from doing them or put pressure on me to quickly find a desk job or a 9 to 5 occupation. I mostly felt the ongoing pressure from within myself. It is by facing the dark and forging ahead to fight those battles that I was able to draw much inspiration to write and paint. So for these trying times, I want to thank God for leading me through this foggy war. Without all these ‘unforeseen circumstances’, I would never have time to sit down, reflect, write and paint. I would have been too busy trying to look my best, be my best at my career and on top of that, acting like a social butterfly fleeting from one party to the next.

I don’t know if I will ever be cured of all my sicknesses or whether I will get financially stabilised in 2014. One thing I know and I’m certain of is that God is always with us. No matter the hurdles he’ll make me jump over or the raging sea that he’ll have me cross, I know He is faithful even when I am not and that means He’ll give me all the necessary graces to not only persevere but to rise above them all triumphantly. And so, in sickness or in health, in baldness or in full crown of glory, I thank God and will thank Him for all He has prepared for me in this coming year. After all, what are a little baldness, a little pain and a little poverty as compared to the crucifixion pains and humiliation suffered by Jesus on the cross? What we have or will ever have is pale in comparison to His. Let us draw strength from He who has been through it all.

As He has commanded, let us obey and

'give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.' (1 Thess 5:18)

By the way, I am working on my first novel while compiling my poetry. Hopefully, I’ll get to publish them both in 2014. Also, more paintings will be on sale! Here’s to a fruitful and joyous Happy New Year no matter whatever circumstances we find ourselves in. One more thing, I thank God for you. Will you pray for me as I pray for you?

A Letter to My very own Daddy-Long-Legs

Dear Daddy,

I re-read Daddy-Long-Legs yesterday, as a reminiscence of my childhood. I recalled how much I yearned for Daddy-Long-Legs to call my own; how much I longed for a real dad in the physical sense. I remember fantasizing of my mother being swept away by a charming man whom she will eventually marry and live happily ever after. In return, I get to have a daddy to call all to myself and of course, shared by my sister too. He will spoil me with fancy treats, books and pretty girly things and most of all, give me a warm fatherly hug when I am sad and allow me to pout, whine and tug at his shirt for a good night’s kiss. I get to see him every day and we will have endearing chats over lunches and dinners. I wanted what all little girls want, a fatherly affection. O how I envy those little girls who get to hold their daddy’s hands!

Dear Silent Daddy,

Looking back through the glass of my memory, I do have my Daddy-Long-Legs. That’s you. Silently, you read my every letter penned in my journal or composed into prayers whispered to heaven. You were there watching over me, sheltering me and gave me providence more than I needed even though I was never really thankful because I was a jealous little girl who wanted more toys and books all the time. Eventually, you did give me many things including more books, toys and clothes but you always passed them to me through your loving messengers. Even though you were always quiet, you were there when I cried, laughed, slept and played. You were there again when I screamed and cried from my nightmares in the dark. You were there when I fell from the stairs and banged my head on the ground. You were quietly comforting me; sending people to love and care for me, tending to my tiny wounds. Of course, you were again silent and never communicate with me but if you ever did, I failed to listen. As I grow up shielding myself with a shell around me, you were always around; watching fondly.

Daddy Most Dearest,

I ought to be thankful for you are the Daddy-Long-Legs who gave me scholarships to colleges. Otherwise, how was it possible for me to earn a degree and fend for myself? You believe that I could rise up beyond my insecure self and harness those talents and gave me education. Time passes so quickly and I am a grown up now. I have never lack of anything thanks to you. Sometimes you answer me in the weirdest way and like Master Jervie, you tend to intervene when I tried to do something stupid that you forbade. Naturally, I got angry at you although you always give me the best but my naïve eyes could not see. When I was seriously ill, you were there soothing my sufferings through the hands and feet of many others. You have always known how my wild heart longs for adventures and you generously send me on trips I can never afford to fund from my own pockets. Slowly, I discover the multitude of angels you have sent to guide me. They’re always storming heaven by their fervent prayers that I may be safe and good. What more can I ask for?

My Affectionate Daddy,

As I grow older, you make your presence somehow more visible. You spoil me endlessly and pamper me with many gifts. You tirelessly send people my way to help me grow alongside my journey in life. You even paint rainbows for me when I am down to remind me that you are always with me. You send birds to my windows in the morning to wake me up even though at times I am lazy and want to sleep in. You share your divine family with me to cheer me on and not give up when the going gets tough. I wonder why at times, I still doubt that you are mine and why I still feel that you are so far away.

My Adorable Daddy,

Funny how you know my heart’s deepest desires even when I never tell them to you. You are probably the only one who knows that as a little girl, I squealed in secret delight at the multitudes of stories you send my way and I tell myself I would like to be an author someday, to inspire many other girls to be brave and strong through my future stories. I guess you also knew that I was afraid of being ridiculed to aspire to become an author, afraid that I am actually no good at all when it comes to writing. You watch as I chose my way out of this dream to pursue a world of fame, glory and pleasure. Again and again, you grab my attention to turn back but often, I get so distracted I spin around and forget. Somehow you seem to know me much more than I do. You open paths that I never think possible to walk in. I guess I do belong to you. Otherwise, how will you ever know?

Daddy of My Dreams,

It must be you prompting me to pick up Daddy-Long-Legs again after so many years. That book was received by post and dated 1994. How long ago was that! As I poured myself on the pages of the book, a part of me has been re-lived and my buried dream had rose from the grave!

My Beloved Daddy,

It is beyond my knowledge whether I’ll ever be the great writer that I want to be but I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for bringing my long-forgotten dream back to me. I am more than grateful that you believe in me more than I do myself. You have been more than a daddy to me. You are my protector, provider, healer, teacher and comforter. You breathe life into my soul and gave me a purpose. You love me so much you gave your life for me. You have become my truest lover, my soul mate. Your silence speaks louder than words.

My Precious Daddy-Long-Legs,

I know you will still love me if I never become a prolific writer for that was never truly your intention. Of course, I will never stop trying because of all you have given me. I must not throw away all the lavish gifts you have bestowed upon me. You have been so good to me and no amount of things I do can ever repay your kind deeds and love. The least I can do is being the best I can be and give my very best. Daddy-Long-Legs, I know you desire above all things to draw me to you and so, I promise I will continue to write these letters to you even when I hear absolutely nothing from you. For better or for worse, in sickness or in health, I will write.

Dear GOD,

I just want you to know that I am very, very happy to have you as my very own Daddy-Long-Legs.

Yours forever and ever,

Daddy’s Little Girl,

Angelina Bong.