Press on MH370

When I heard of the missing plane from Malaysian Airlines in Africa, my heart sank...I could be on that very plane. How devastated the families must be. After I got back, there were still not much good news. I pray with all my heart that they will find the plane soon. I am glad that the whole world is coming together to work for good in finding the plane.

Here's a poem that I would like to dedicate to all the families and loved ones of the passengers and crews on board MH370.

All over 
High and low 
Wide and deep 
No cure is near 

Search continues 
One on one 
Multiplies by thousands 
Hope is far 

One clings on 
A thousand miles 
Hearts wail and mourn 
Terror strikes 

Uncertainties prevail 
Can one see 
Beyond debris 
Where and why 

Hijack or death 
Only God knows 
Lives come and go 
Hidden from eyes 

You and I 
Hug each other 
Pray to heavens 
Never give up 

Press on 
Seek and find 
That day is near 
Truth will arrive 


Please don't give up hope and don't despair. We join hands with everyone in the world to pray for you.

'The Calloused Hands' written for Basadi Balefatshe - An International Journey of a Woman

It's been a while since I wrote in this cavern.

I just got back from South Africa. Its been an enriching and wonderful experience. I've learnt so much and been blessed over and over by the places I visited and especially by the amazing souls that have touched my life while I am there. I've got a million stories to tell and a lot more to weave into stories that I know I will use someday.

I went there to perform in a musical play and also to engage in cultural exchange.

Here is a poem-story that I presented/performed for a musical play entitled ‘Basadi Balefatshe’ (World Women) – ‘An International Journey of a Woman’ at Joburg Theatre, Johannesburg, South Africa in conjunction with International Women’s Day. This poem-story was also told during an International Storytelling Festival at Pretoria, South Africa.

The story is a fiction inspired by the lives of some Asian women. However, the photo below is a real picture of me and my popo’s hands J

Me and Popo's hands

The Calloused Hands

Popo!!!! I call out in high pitch glee

Her wrinkles curve and smile at me

Happiness awakened from distrait

Finally after all those years of wait

I rush to her side, she coughs out blood

Lying on her deathbed without a word

Her body lays motionless but her eyes

Twinkle with whispers of love and cries

Tiny and frail hardly explains her body

More fragile than a new-born baby

She lifts up her bony shaky fingers

Cupping my face and let one lingers

Rough and dry her old skin against mine

Worse than burns from acid and alkaline

Her teary eyes pierces deep into my soul

Bringing me back to great times of old

********

Mama died when she gave birth to me

Papa sits in jail for raping her repeatedly

Popo brought me up with love and care

She took me in which was an act so rare

She woke up at five every morning

Chicken porridge was her best cooking

Alternating with butter buns and bread

There was nothing my taste truly dread

I was a noisy and naughty little girl

Always caught with my feet awhirl

She never spared me from the rod

Never to spoil but instil fear of God

When I behaved well, she would fry

Banana fritters so good you would cry

She would hug me and laugh out loud

Chasing rain from the hovering cloud

Popo’s hair was always in a small bun

Neat and tidy not a hair seen in front

Wraparound sarong tied with a knot

Her lips wearing a shade of red hot

Day and night she worked hard

Tending to vegetables in her yard

A kind soul, still sharing a fruit or two

Turning away the needy was a taboo

A storyteller at night with her hair down

Filled with tales to enchant and astound

Memoirs of her younger self and ah kong

My grandpa who had died forty years long

I once asked “Popo, are you not tired?”

Pointing upwards, her secret transpired

“My strength comes from high above”

“All is made possible in the name of love”

I continued, “Why did you choose to keep me?”

She held me tight and said, “Why would I flee?”

“God gave you to me, one of his greatest gifts”

“You’re innocent no matter who your papa is”

Time passed, I had to leave for university

Popo would come to see me in the city

Each time she grew shorter and shorter

While the hunch on her back grew bigger

Work began to eat away all my time

I strived to pay back every single dime

Popo was far from my heart and mind

I was exhausted after a long day’s grind

One day a phone call made my heart broke

Popo fell down the stairs and had a stroke

Panicking I prayed it was not too late

I had promised to bring Popo on a date

********

Her mouth opens wide gasping for air

I keep muttering that it is so unfair

She holds my gaze in blinking tears

Am I facing one of my biggest fears?

Popo softly moans “I’m going home”

“I am not leaving you alone to roam”

“Do not cry my cucu, I know you care”

“I will watch over you from up there”

Her calloused hands clasp mine tightly

Not letting go I grip them to me closely

“I love you” springs from her watery eyes

Breathes her last and to heaven she flies

p/s: If you like poetry, feel free to browse my poems at my previous posts labelled 'My Poems'.  

Are you afraid of His Calling?

Have you been called to do something beyond your comfort zone? In fact, perhaps something risky or even dangerous, like preaching to hostile countries that are not particularly friendly towards people of our faith.

I think we all experience this at least once in our lifetime. A few times in the past, I felt the nudge that God was calling me to do something far beyond what I think I can do. He seems to be more confident about my abilities than I am myself. I hesitated thousands of times and even begged God to close the doors and choose someone else but His will always prevail in the end.

You might be facing the very same thing. Perhaps all along, you’ve only known your neighbourhood and have never travelled overseas. You have a comfortable desk job but all of a sudden, you feel convicted that God wants you to go to a faraway land that does not speak your language and you will have to stand in front of multitudes of human beings of a different race to talk about your faith. Yet you never even stood on a stage before. Will you go?

Let us look at David. A young shepherd boy was not only anointed by God to be a king but he beat Goliath, the great Giant of his times. Who would have thought he will ever beat Goliath?

It is stated in In 1 Samuel 16:7,” …..The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”

We might not think we are capable but we can do all things through God who gives us strength no matter how risky, scary or overwhelming the task might seem. Remember how the Lord used Moses to split open the red sea? There is nothing that is impossible for God. If he can use Moses and David, he can use you. You need only to obey and do your part.

Sometimes we might doubt whether it is truly from God. I find this prayer truly helpful.

Dear Lord, I feel this is your calling for me but I am afraid and would rather do without it, for I am weak and feel that I am not as strong, talented and experienced like the others and if this is not from you, please close all doors for me. But you Lord is the mighty one and you do not see as men see and if truly you have chosen me to do this task, let your will be done unto me. I trust that you will be with me and you are all I need for I can do all things through you who strengthen me. Show me the way and lead me on the right path. This is my faith and trust in you that you will answer my prayer.

If He shows that it is indeed Him calling you, then trust in Him. He will provide ALL that you need to fulfil your mission. May God goes before you and be with you. Go now and proclaim His good news!

Write Like a Lemon!

The other day I was squeezing some lemon and suddenly it dawned on me that if the lemon had nerves and a heart, it would definitely be having a whole lot of pain. Ouch! Even so, would a lemon cease to let us squeeze it if it can think and sense touch like we do? Then it will lose its very purpose, that is to give us those fresh, vitamin C packed juice! How horrible would that be to lose one's purpose?

Photo taken from http://catalysttrainingsystems.ca/2013/10/squeezethatlemon/

What about you? What's your purpose? Would you let pain and tragedies stop you from fulfilling your mission in life? Would you let heartaches stop you from loving? Many times we feel exactly like a lemon, being squeezed of all our vibrant juices of energy and strength. We are always trampled, taken for granted, squashed and many times, even ignored and belittled by those whom we loved the most. Do we stop functioning and retaliate? I am not talking about child, sexual or domestic abuse. That's entirely a different thing. I mean times when we feel like giving up our purpose like motherhood because the chores and demands are just too much and we are being 'squeezed' dry of our love and efforts.

Writers can relate to this as well. How many times we feel so sure we are called to write but how many times we feel like quitting? There are just too many distractions. The neighbours are too noisy. Nobody takes writing seriously and families pester us for a real job. The pay is so infrequent that we keep the rent running late all the time.  We are just too tired after our day jobs to sit in front of the computer and type, not to mention brain-dead of any creativity left! The list goes on. So do we stop writing?

I assure you that many best-selling writers out there have gone through all these juice-grinding moments when they too were sucked dry and left with peels of tiredness. Let us not grow weary and hang in there. If we are truly certain that this is our calling, let us strive like soldiers through sunshine or rain and keep that warrior's ink flowing. Be aware of enemies creeping up on us like procrastination, distractions, temptations of a better pay from a job that does not require you to write and so forth. Don't give up my dear writer friends!

Even the bible has something great to say about enduring our present sufferings for the sake of something better. 

"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us" (Romans 8:18)

Let not past discouragements, failures and dissappoinments hold you back from achieving your life's purpose.

"Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead" - Philippians 3:13

Every human is called to LOVE whether it is through writing, painting, accounting, volunteering, cooking and etc. So, love what you do and you can endure all things. Do not be afraid of letting your juice be squeezed! 

To my fellow writers, Write Like a Lemon! ;) 

Photo taken from http://www.jennyonthespot.com/just-jenny/what-do-lemons-mutant-carrots-honda-and-dead-sunflowers-have-in-common/ 

Cheers!

The Great Expectation

This was a snapshot from my phone on a recent doodle I did in my sketchbook while I was enjoying a holiday with my family after Christmas Day.

The Great Expectation by Angelina Bong
http://swakgel.blogspot.com/2014/01/the-great-expectation.html

Who's expecting? My sister! I'll be a proud aunt soon.

We were enjoying the view of the beach from our balcony in the resort. She was quietly reading and as I soaked in the picturesque waves raging on the shore, I noticed how calm and glowing she was in the midst of a coming storm! I can't help but did a quick sketch out of that. By the way, the coconut trees were swaying mad as the wind blew and howled like a mad hurricane.

Besides expecting to welcome a newborn baby into our family, there are many expectations I have set aside for myself this year. I hope to eat less or at least more healthily, pray more, love more, write more, read more, paint more, exercise more and most of all, I hoped my writings and paintings worked out this year! Hopefully, I will get that first novel published. Still working on it. I expect to be more patient on myself and that I may find joy in all that I do. 

There are of course storms and tsunamis that might unexpectedly turn up on our doorsteps like cancer, deaths, financial loss, natural disasters, conflicts and etc. Are we prepared to face them? I believe we would never be 100% prepared for such an unforeseen event. No matter what catastrophe this year might bring us, let us stay calm and let the storm passed us by. Everything would eventually pass.

Shall I keep writing even in the midst of a million hurdles to overcome with pain and stress surrounding me? Of course! You should too...keep writing, painting and do whatever that you love doing for the very act itself could build a fortress for you to lean back and watch the storm with gratitude!

Hope you will find this little sketch inspiring.

Ciao my friend :)

Revolt by Qaisra Shahraz

Revolt is one of the first few books I managed to finish for the start of 2014 and I think you should totally read it up too. Why so? My review is below. 

Revolt by Qaisra Shahraz

I wanted to leave a customer review on Amazon itself but because I have not bought any books from Amazon, I am not allowed to do so although I am definitely going to order some books online, possibly as soon as possible.

Reading has been challenging during the start of the new year due to a lot of recent happenings in my family especially with the festive seasons but I am so glad I managed to squeeze in time to read this book. 

Revolt is beautifully engaging. My feet was on tiptoe the entire time my eyes ran through the words on the book as the stories flowed from page to page, gripping my heart from the first to the last. My emotions catapulted like a chameleon, raging from intense anger and grief to shedding tears of joy and thrill as I felt the loss, desire, passion and sacrifice of the characters. 

The descriptive motions led me picturing myself living in the story amidst the rich traditions and cultures of the Pakistani way of life. Important issues concerning many Asian women and men particularly of contradicting values between modernity, faith and tradition were cleverly brought to light and addressed. The striking contrast between the rich and the poor depicted in the stories are very real in the world we are living in today. This made me ponder on the times I have turned my head away from those who are in need. Read on and perhaps you might be moved to take action to do something about poverty in your area.

I sensed my heart rising in rebellion as each character revolted in the name of love. How often have we encountered these people in our community but shun them from our lives? Perhaps reading this will melt our heart a little and enabled us to embrace the differences that each individual brings. 

Revolt was not only a truly enjoyable read but intelligent as well. I'm an inch wiser now as each character's beliefs and actions taught me a thing or two about love, life and faith. I hope I get to visit Pakistan someday and witness the rich cultures described vividly in the book and of course, to taste all the delicious food mentioned. 

I'm definitely looking forward to reading more of Qaisra's works. 

Be Thankful for the Good and Bad Times of 2013

I just came back from the hospital and another illness is added to the list! Doctor confidently diagnosed my bald patch as Alopecia Areata and asked me to use the same topical treatment cream I applied on my Vitiligo patches.

For those who didn’t know, last year I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, Disc Herniation and Sciatica. In between all that, I have frequent diaarrhoea, food poisoning, sinusitis, sleep disruption, headaches and etc. Earlier this year, Vitiligo came and leeched itself on me. Just last month, the doctor guessed I have Neuritis and today, I am given Alopecia. Wow, what’s next?

As I googled up on Alopecia, it says that 1 in 5 people would progress to total baldness. So I’m going bald after turning slowly into a leopard with spots? What other autoimmune disorders will creep up? How disfigured will I get? Will I be shunned by society? Hmmm…should I freak out? For some reason, I am unusually calm although I can’t say I am not disappointed, upset or more sombre than usual.

Beginning of this year, I quit my stressful job and came back to my hometown. I’ve been ‘jobless’ for almost a year although I do get part time/freelance stuffs once in a while. The illnesses have taken a toll on my body physically, mentally, emotionally and even spiritually. I’ve gained 10 kgs since last year. Tomorrow is the last day of the year. Should I lash curses at God and hold resentment against him? Should I throw away all smiles and laughter and wallow in self-pity? I think not.

As I look back at this past year of 2013, there is much to be thankful for. Yes, even in my multiple sicknesses and trials and losses, I am thankful. I won’t put up a front and tell you that it has been a breeze and every day I had wakened up being grateful. I confess I have been bitterly frustrated, depressed, fearful, doubtful and even angry at God many times. Why did the Almighty God allow heaps of things to happen to me?

 Well, He’s God and I’m not. Therefore, I will never completely understand and grasp the big picture that He has in mind. I believe He has a plan for all these. He always does. He promises in

Romans 8:28 ‘We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.’

If God can give Sarah a child at her impossible old age and raised Lazarus from the dead, I am sure there is nothing that is impossible for Him. There must be something good out of all these trials and sufferings.

First and foremost, I am very grateful for the Lord’s grace and strength for helping me get through my painful days and days when I felt hope was just too far away. I am especially thankful for His constant Providence through unexpected sources that has kept me going although I was and still am technically jobless. I even get to go on several travel trips overseas through sponsors! I also thank God for the generous love from my family and friends. I still get to celebrate Christmas where many are homeless and cannot even go to church because of terrible disasters like the typhoon that plagued so many Filipinos. I am thankful for shelter and food and looking at my size, I’m sure you will know that there is always plenty of food on the table, if not too much. 

I would also like to thank God for the many times I've been hurt, misunderstood, rejected and humiliated for at times like these, I felt I had a glimpse of God's painful sacrifice for us. I thank God for all my illnesses because they keep me a little humbler and dependable on God for without Him I cannot go on especially on days when my physical strength is at its lowest. It was at times like these that I sometimes felt the closest to God although there were many times that I thought He had abandoned me. Again, those times were crucial to help me develop my faith. I sure hope it is not diminishing but growing instead. I am glad to still be alive, kicking and moving where millions have died or became bed-ridden.

Due to my ‘joblessness’, I have time on my hands and I have been immersing myself in creative projects from crafts, paintings and especially writing. Writing has always been a childhood dream buried and forgotten because it is not something someone in my country would encourage you to take seriously especially if it involves fiction or storytelling. Same goes to painting. There are plenty of poor artists around me and those who cared didn’t want me to end up like them. I am thankful however that my family supports my endeavours and although most of them do not understand or even read my writings especially my poetry, they never stopped me from doing them or put pressure on me to quickly find a desk job or a 9 to 5 occupation. I mostly felt the ongoing pressure from within myself. It is by facing the dark and forging ahead to fight those battles that I was able to draw much inspiration to write and paint. So for these trying times, I want to thank God for leading me through this foggy war. Without all these ‘unforeseen circumstances’, I would never have time to sit down, reflect, write and paint. I would have been too busy trying to look my best, be my best at my career and on top of that, acting like a social butterfly fleeting from one party to the next.

I don’t know if I will ever be cured of all my sicknesses or whether I will get financially stabilised in 2014. One thing I know and I’m certain of is that God is always with us. No matter the hurdles he’ll make me jump over or the raging sea that he’ll have me cross, I know He is faithful even when I am not and that means He’ll give me all the necessary graces to not only persevere but to rise above them all triumphantly. And so, in sickness or in health, in baldness or in full crown of glory, I thank God and will thank Him for all He has prepared for me in this coming year. After all, what are a little baldness, a little pain and a little poverty as compared to the crucifixion pains and humiliation suffered by Jesus on the cross? What we have or will ever have is pale in comparison to His. Let us draw strength from He who has been through it all.

As He has commanded, let us obey and

'give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.' (1 Thess 5:18)

By the way, I am working on my first novel while compiling my poetry. Hopefully, I’ll get to publish them both in 2014. Also, more paintings will be on sale! Here’s to a fruitful and joyous Happy New Year no matter whatever circumstances we find ourselves in. One more thing, I thank God for you. Will you pray for me as I pray for you?