Thursday, July 26, 2012

Fighting Fibromyalgia Exhaustion

Sitting in the hospital lobby waiting for my housemate to pick me,
I decided to type a few notes. I had just completed one session of Physiotherapy. My back feels comforted with the tender consolation of machinery working together to help ease my back pain.

However, I am feeling very weak and lightheaded.
I'm not quite sure if it's fibromyalgia exhaustive tiredness or the side effects of lyrica that I took last night before going to bed. It took so much effort to wake up. I felt it was even easier in those days to do a few rounds of kickboxing than to get out of bed now. I feel extreme tiredness and heaviness on all my limbs. I am thinking of next week when I go back to work. How will I cope with these? 

I feel cold and numb as if all energy has been drained off me. This is not the first time. I have gone through these many times; dragging myself to work like a zombie. If you are suffering from fibromyalgia, you would probably know what I am talking about. I could barely bring my mouth muscles to form a smile.

I think of millions of people who might be in worse conditions than I am and yet they are still cheerful and fighting the good fight. 

These verses below brings me much consolation. There is no suffering here on earth that can be compared with the glory that awaits us in eternity. Whatever we are going through, God allows it to happen to shape us or make us more like His son. Remember that all things work out for good for those who love God. I would like to dedicate this to you if you feel like giving up because of all you have to go through.

18 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. 19 The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed. 20For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope 21 that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God. 22 We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. 23 Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? 25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. 26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. 27 And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will.

28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Don't give up! Fight the good fight!

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Sciatica, Disk Herniation and Fibromyalgia

     It has been almost a month now since I last blogged. There are so many words in my head, so many things I want to share but that is not possible.

     I finally managed to see my doctor. I was admitted to hospital and found out I did have muscle injury near my left shin bone. However after a series of ultrasound therapies on my leg, I still have stabbing pain in my leg especially when I was lying down in the hospital bed. That was weird. I should not be having any pain when my legs were not moving. My kind doctor advised that I should do an MRI on my lumbar spine just in case. True enough, my L5/S1 has disk herniation. Most often, people called that 'slipped disc'. My leg was experiencing sciatica pain. The bulging disc was pushing on my nerves that were connected to my left leg near my shin. That was the culprit! In fact both of my discs were bulging. Doctor said that God is good to me to only allow pain on one side. Thank God for that.

     All these years, I always had backache and sometimes it was so bad that I could not even lie on my back. Little did I know all these accumulative 'pains' would lead to a condition like now. I also have fibromyalgia syndrome so I have many overlapping symptoms which masked the nerve impingement pain that I felt. Fibromyalgia did intensified my pain.

    I have never wanted to take medications to treat my fibromyalgia as I wanted to deal with it naturally. In fact, I was improving naturally due to lifestyle changes and more prayers. However, doctor advised that it is best now to take Lyrica to help with the 'crazy' nerve signals that fibro is sending. It has been making me very sleepy and drowsy. I feel blur and my head just need to plop on the bed every now and then.

    As of yesterday, I have cut down my dosage of Lyrica. I have to admit that my fibromyalgia pain is lessening. I do not feel much pain in my legs anymore but my back seems to be hurting more. That is still bearable. I thank God for many friends who visited me and helped me throughout these days of 'sick leave' and bed rest at home. Big thanks to my mother who flew in to nurse me. I feel like a grandmother now.

     I guess the whole experience has been very interesting. I have not slept in the hospital since I was six and it was 'enlightening' to have two different old ladies being admitted and discharged right next to my bed through out the duration of my stay. Perhaps I shall blog about them on a new post entirely. I have been pushed around in the wheelchairs, even in the malls and I must admit that it was quite fun. The best part was seeing how people react to me on wheelchairs. I know now how a handicapped feels like. I felt pampered to have so many people taking care of me especially when I was hospitalized. I also kept thinking of the many millions of poor people who could never afford medications or a visit to the doctor. I am very saddened by this. 

      Right now, I have finished a set of physio-therapies and am undergoing another set of interferential therapy and traction with hot pack. They really helped a lot. I am improving day by day thanks to all these technology plus lots of tender loving care from above and around me. I would be going back to work in a week. I pray the extra pressure of walking and everything would not urge sciatica to recur on me.

      I have to be extra careful now with everything that I do. I guess I took my lumbar spine for granted. I am going to miss all the kickboxing that I had always wanted to resume and a lot more fun activities that I have to avoid. There's always a bright side to everything. I guess and hope I'll be more compassionate to elderly people with aches and pains far worse than mine.

Praise the Lord for His mercy and healing!

p/s: Many people around me has never heard of is so rare in Malaysia..I wonder if there are more people like me.