Almost Lost in Jaipur!

I remembered the fears I felt when I thought I was lost. I left my ‘kids’ and boss in the comfortable restaurant as I listened to the tug in my heart to go to church. It was Sunday. I told God that I wanted to attend mass in Jaipur. I did not want to miss my Sunday worship.

It was 2012. I flew to Delhi to meet my boss and my students to attend a fashion conference as well as chaperoning them during their study tour. It has always been my dream to visit India one day and I did it! God did it for me ;)

I thought of the movie Taken and a myriad of terrible stories of kidnappings and human traffickings. The last thing I needed from a trip is to have an adventure backfiring on me. Yet, I couldn’t stop myself from boarding the auto-rickshaws or Auto as the locals call it and directed the driver to take me to church.

The church was peaceful and quiet and it was decorated with an Indian style. I could picture baby Jesus dancing in a kurta with a garland of yellow flowers flopping around on his neck. Wouldn’t it be an amazing sight?

Although I was clad in a white Indian-like tunic (I bought it in Bali) and an elephant printed cashmere shawl around my neck, I stood out like a soya bean amongst the black beans. I could see one or two Caucasian women but I was the only Asian woman in the church. I felt alone but yet not alone. The feeling was indescribable because I felt at home as God was with me. You are at home wherever God is. It did not matter that I had different coloured skin but what mattered was that God made all of us in His image.

I had to leave right away after mass ended as it was going to be dark soon. There were not many cabs around. I took my chances of hailing an Auto. I showed him the map and he said okay although my heart was questioning whether he really comprehended what I said. I was staying at a hotel that was not in the city centre and plus, I am hopeless in directions. In this part of India, you have to bargain the price before you hop on and let them take you. So I bargained and my courage said yes to follow him.

Unfortunately, the driver drove me round and round and took me to some quiet alleys that I did not recognize at all. I was frightened but I tried my best not to let it show. I told God…hey, I went to church..so please God protect me and bring me safely back to my hotel. He made many stops and asked around. I could tell he was lost. He said he knew the directions but clearly he did not. I tried talking to him but I could not make out what he was trying to say. Perhaps he was just trying to make some money. I prayed hard in my heart.

I didn't get a nice pic of an Auto but here's a glimpse of it behind the sweet smiling kids who came begging for money.

It didn't help that my hair was blowing in all directions. The sand from the desert was making my eyes watery. I looked like a damsel in distress being driven on the ride of her life minus the knights, prince charming and cruel villain. I sincerely hoped the ride did not end up with meeting a nasty baddie. My heart stopped every time he pulled his Auto to the roadside. I encountered a guy along the many stops that the driver made. I could not recall what he said exactly but he spoke better English and assured me that he gave correct directions to the driver. 

Soon after, I did manage to reach my hotel. God proved again that He is good and He is faithful. As I stepped down and saw the familiar faces of my students getting ready for an evening out, my heart smiled. Thank God.

India has touched me in many ways and there are many more occasions that God has showed me that He is there with me all along. I need not fear as long as I seek Him first. Despite the crazy news and poverty that you might see everywhere in India, it is an enriching place with many faces of God around you if you look closely and discover that God is indeed speaking to you through His creations.

Namaste 

I will definitely visit India again.

Namaste J

Sail by the Wind

Shadows walk past the bow,

The moon flickers in the dark,

Misty wind blows the sail,

Boat Grace stands elegantly,

One of the few peaceful nights,

Drenched she is on the rock,

Many sleepless nights of turmoil,

Rough sea splashes mightily,

Storm hails as gift of courtesy,

Lost in the quiet mystical ocean,

Fibro lays still in the cabin,

Faithful companion of Grace,

A love hate relationship occurs,

Beyond tears of crying rocks,

Grace moves forward like an eagle,

Soaring without fears nor doubts,

Fibro throws anchors of caution,

Putting stumbles along Grace's path,

She cannot stand him yet he clings on,

Like a parasite with flare ups,

Always stopping Grace in her tracks,

Yet he cares in a melancholic way,

He stands on the deck breathing,

Salty air sweeps across his youthful face,

Stroking her pulpit displaying caresses,

Grace shivers beneath the calmness,

Fibro's unorthodox ways chill her,

Numbing pains beneath the starboard,

She knows not how to lose Fibro now,

A best friend to steer her ways,

Lest she taps backward to her old land,

Lost and clueless they are for now,

The wind will do magical wonders,

As it always does in the past,

It will direct Fibro and soothe Grace,

As Grace sails to the promised land 

Rock It

The last teardrop falls 
Weeping is over in the night 
Joy comes in the morning 
A new horizon begins 
The beat of drums stirs your heart 
Songs of love fills the head 
The way it makes you feel 
It is far stronger than a turn-on 
The lonesome mood vaporises 
Vanishes into thin air 
Celebrate you shall with wine 
Tap your feet and swing your hair 
Let it catch you smile and cheer 
Off your legs and jump 
Dance till you fly to the moon 
Shake it to the ground 
Shout with music of diamonds 
You know better my precious 
This is more than it is 
Tear down the mask of coolness 
Show off your warm glow 
Live fully if only today 
Let the wind of gladness blow you 
Forget it all and follow the flow 
Hear the voice in you and soar 
Heavens are waiting for you 
Let no full stop be where you are 
Go forth and shine like stars 
Say I Do and let it be 
Rejoice for this is a new day 
Jump it babe and rock it

One Day More

A broken shell lies in the doorway,

Stupefied by magical wisdom,

Shattered glasses out from rimless eyes,

Torn leaves smeared the beautiful mind,

Endless dreams fly to neverland,

Whimsical dances that speak of passion,

A ghost maybe or just an enchanted charm,

The garden that breathes and exhales,

Wrong seems right but how can it be,

Shameful stirs that only a child can see,

A burst of the music of light,

Every whisper is a dagger of pain,

A spark of joy in a blossom of song,

She does not even know its name,

Or was it never meant to be,

A cry to the stars of heaven,

As the piano sings alone,

Pretending it is there all along,

In the dark the silver beams down,

Moon River floods the trees of wishes,

The barren streets weep till it is no more,

Deepest recesses of the well flows,

One day more perhaps,

Let her find it

RIP Father of LA, Dearest Uncle Francis Lai

I have known a good man for a few years now in the place I've lived since 2001. I recently moved back to my hometown. He passed away on Saturday and I was broken-hearted for not being able to attend his funeral. I have a doctor's appointment in General Hospital that I have made few months back. It was on the same morning as the funeral.

Even when he was bed-ridden, he continued to touch my heart. I would like to dedicate this poem to him.


A man of Faith,
You were always there,
Silently watching and guarding over LA,
A place I called home for many years...

A man filled with joy,
I remember the first few times we met,
You always tease and made jokes,
Bumping into you in your running gears,
You were always jovial and up for a run,
You were never too tired for a laugh...

A shining beacon,
You always bring a smile to us,
An occasional chuckle from you brightened our day,
Especially when we were drained from work,
You always made me feel at home,
Since my family were miles away...

A man of generosity,
Sometimes us girls need help with LA fixes,
A call from you made the work so much easier,
You were always ever ready to help,
Even when you were not well...

A man of Hope,
You spoke of God and life,
You were always inspiring,
Even till the last moments on earth,
You showed me God's amazing love...

A man of Love,
You have been a good man,
Filled with integrity and lived life to the fullest,
I have no doubts you are in Heaven now,
I am sad that you are no longer here,
But I am happy that we have a saint to pray for us now,
You will always be remembered, 
Till the day I will meet and join you in our eternal home...

A Random Muse

Sometimes it's bleeding,
A throw in the darkness,
Where it cannot breathe,
No words can hold it,
Cries can't contain it,
Flying through the blindness,
The heart can't let go

A gem in the slum-airs,
Mopping up the threshold,
Anything or nothing upheld,
Rowing up bloops of vomit,
Careless clouds of emptiness,
Creating jukebox of heartaches,
A note to hit and kill it,
A song buried deep within,
Music transcends and float high,
A call far beyond comprehension,
Will it be or will it not,
A random muse or not it seem 

Death and Heaven

Death is not something people always talk about. It is even taboo in many cultures.
Yet, it is something we cannot avoid. For those who have lost their loved ones, they know precisely what I am saying. Death is inevitable.

For many people who have no God, this earthly life is all they have. That is tragic.

But for many of us who know and believe in Jesus, death is not a bad thing. This life is a temporary journey for us. We are to live life to the fullest on this earth as it is a beautiful gift from God. Life is beautiful but death can be beautiful too. I do not mean that we should end our lives for that is terrible. Life is too precious to be thrown away.

However, our life on earth has an expiry date. There will come a day when God will call us home. A place Jesus has prepared for all of us who believe and follow Him. A place where there will be no more hunger and sadness. A place of joy for eternity.

If you think life is unbearable now, think of the eternal home you will enter. What we are facing now is just a tiny fraction of trials but soon, when all is said and done, we shall have eternal bliss. For now, be patient and be thankful for everything.

The recent Boston terror and China earthquake has lost so many people. It is a moment of grief and sadness especially when one were not able to say their goodbyes and bid farewell to their loved ones. However, there is still hope. These souls are not lost forever. Your loved ones are not lost forever. There is heaven.

That is something we all should look forward to. May we all be reunited with our loved ones in Heaven. Wouldn't it be cool to see Moses, Abraham, Mary, Peter and Paul?