Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Do you struggle to begin the day?

I woke up this morning, struggling to get up..
My chest felt extreme heaviness and my spirit feels weak
I do not feel enthusiastic at all
It's like my spirit is already dampened even before I'm awakened
I said to myself, "this can't be right"
I don't want to go on like this
I want to be full of life and joy despite any circumstances
As I pray, I struggled with 'demons' in my head..
After a long while I felt better..

Do you feel like that sometimes?
Like you don't want to roll out of bed and face the day?
You try to pray but ended up with imaginative curses pointing at you
Saying today is just another bad day
Life sucks
You are useless
When will I ever be happy
And the list goes on

I think a lot of us are battling like these everyday
We must not believe these lies
We must not give in to these feelings of hopelessness and despair
We have to start the day right as much as it is a struggle
Call on the Lord's name to deliver you from these strongholds
Ask God to break you free from all these negativity
Continue to storm heaven with prayers for divine intervention
You will be surprised that if you call on the Lord's name to
Protect and guide your thoughts and deeds every morning
And to seal you from all dangers and harm from the evil ones with His precious blood
The battle will be so much will be armed with God's glory

I found this poem by George Macdonald to be so true

With every morn my life afresh must break,
The crust of self, gathered about me fresh;
That thy wind-spirit may rush in and shake,
The darkness out of me, and rend the mesh,
The spider-devils spin out of the flesh-
Eager to net the soul before it wake,
That it may slumberous lie, and listen to the snake.

God bless you and keep you safe.
Remember to pray always.


Sunday, February 20, 2011

Walk like Frodo

Along the road to Gondor
Frodo walks tirelessly
His destiny is mapped out
He is the ring bearer

Have you watched Lord of the Rings?
Do you feel like Frodo sometimes?
Do you feel like the moment you wake up you are swamped with attacks and persecutions even those that come from your own mind telling you that you are useless, or you will never be good?
Do you feel like you have such a heavy burden to bear even though you didn't choose it like Frodo and the ring?
Do you feel like you are really on the losing end and no one even care anymore?
Frodo felt that way..
This little hobbit entrusted with such a heavy responsibility..
Imagine what would happen if he gave up half way when he became too tired and could only dreamt of his beautiful shire and his lovely comfortable bed?
He did not give up
Instead he chose to pursue despite the enveloping darkness so goodness shall reign over evil in the end

When all is hopeless and darkness is all around you, fret not..
Do not lose hope
Trudge on
It is always the darkest before the sun rises
Do not give up..
God is with you
You are not alone

He shall give His angels to charge over you in all your ways.
On a dark night, 
Kindled in love with yearnings
--oh, happy chance!--
I went forth without being observed, 
My house being now at rest.  

In darkness and secure, 
By the secret ladder, disguised
--oh, happy chance!--
In darkness and in concealment, 
My house being now at rest. 

In the happy night, 
In secret, when none saw me,
Nor I beheld aught, 
Without light or guide, 
save that which burned in my heart. 

This light guided me 
More surely than the light of noonday
To the place where he 
(well I knew who!) was awaiting me
-- A place where none appeared. 

Oh, night that guided me, 
Oh, night more lovely than the dawn,
Oh, night that joined 
Beloved with lover, 
Lover transformed in the Beloved! 

Upon my flowery breast, 
Kept wholly for himself alone,
There he stayed sleeping, 
and I caressed him, 
And the fanning of the cedars made a breeze. 

The breeze blew from the turret 
As I parted his locks;
With his gentle hand 
He wounded my neck 
And caused all my senses to be suspended. 

I remained, lost in oblivion; 
My face I reclined on the Beloved.
All ceased and I abandoned myself, 
Leaving my cares 
forgotten among the lilies. 

How romantic is the poem above..-I did not write it but in fact
Am mesmerized by sounds almost like a love letter or a love song
Indeed it is the expression of love written by
St.John of the Cross and His lover is God.
You must be it possible to have this kind of relationship with God?
It seems surreal, absurd and even impossible.
But it has been written over and over again not only in the bible
But by his saints, his disciples, his followers that
They were longing for God and God continually pursue them.
I may not have reach that stage but I sure want that kind of love..
Have you ever thought that God (yes, God of heaven and earth, the one who creates you)
Would ever want to have a relationship and not just any relationship but one that is romantic,
Filled with burning love with you?
We read in Psalms or sing these words,
"My soul thirsts for you,
My body longs for you,
Your love is better than life,
My soul clings to you,
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
And that's true..
Most of us bury our hearts or chase after so many 'loves'
Be it money or sex or food or partners
Everytime we only get crushed and our hearts wounded all over again
Or worse we move on by burying the wounds
And live on without our hearts
Our heart is dead long before we reach our graves
Don't you want to feel loved and be loved and to be able to have someone by your side always?
Return to Him
Come to Him
And pursue Him
He's waiting for you
He loves you
Go to Him in your dark night
And He will not fail you.

Monday, February 14, 2011

My Heart

I wrote this long back but i thought what better time to publish this but on Valentine's Day?

My heart has been stolen,
Rapture in the midst of the dark night,
Swift like the lightning it came,
An unknown power descended from above

My being no longer feels hunger and thirst,
Instead a deeper longing beyond comprehension,
A desire that is above human nature,
A stirring that steals away my every breath

My heart beats not for me,
It is like I am not living anymore,
It is locked away in the most sacred of places,
Safe in the sanctuary of the hands of my Beloved

My Beloved holds my heart close to His,
He has imprinted His name on my heart,
I no longer breathe for myself,
My every breath cries out His precious name

My strength has left me,
Weakness fills me to the core,
My heart cannot hear my voice any longer,
It clings to the tender hands of my Beloved

My heart has immersed itself in His hands,
Every beat of my heart belongs to Him,
Yet I will not trade anything for this sacrifice,
I rather not live than to lose His touch

My heart will continue to beat for Him,
Safe in My Beloved hands it shall live,
In secret I shall live not for me but for Him,
In silence my heart will go on forever

Happy Valentine's Day my Precious One,
My Beloved of all.

Here's also wishing you:
Happy Valentine's Day to all who are reading this and may your heart always beat to the One who matters most.