Wednesday, November 13, 2013

A Letter to My very own Daddy-Long-Legs

Dear Daddy,
I re-read Daddy-Long-Legs yesterday, as a reminiscence of my childhood. I recalled how much I yearned for Daddy-Long-Legs to call my own; how much I longed for a real dad in the physical sense. I remember fantasizing of my mother being swept away by a charming man whom she will eventually marry and live happily ever after. In return, I get to have a daddy to call all to myself and of course, shared by my sister too. He will spoil me with fancy treats, books and pretty girly things and most of all, give me a warm fatherly hug when I am sad and allow me to pout, whine and tug at his shirt for a good night’s kiss. I get to see him every day and we will have endearing chats over lunches and dinners. I wanted what all little girls want, a fatherly affection. O how I envy those little girls who get to hold their daddy’s hands!

Dear Silent Daddy,
Looking back through the glass of my memory, I do have my Daddy-Long-Legs. That’s you. Silently, you read my every letter penned in my journal or composed into prayers whispered to heaven. You were there watching over me, sheltering me and gave me providence more than I needed even though I was never really thankful because I was a jealous little girl who wanted more toys and books all the time. Eventually, you did give me many things including more books, toys and clothes but you always passed them to me through your loving messengers. Even though you were always quiet, you were there when I cried, laughed, slept and played. You were there again when I screamed and cried from my nightmares in the dark. You were there when I fell from the stairs and banged my head on the ground. You were quietly comforting me; sending people to love and care for me, tending to my tiny wounds. Of course, you were again silent and never communicate with me but if you ever did, I failed to listen. As I grow up shielding myself with a shell around me, you were always around; watching fondly.

Daddy Most Dearest,
I ought to be thankful for you are the Daddy-Long-Legs who gave me scholarships to colleges. Otherwise, how was it possible for me to earn a degree and fend for myself? You believe that I could rise up beyond my insecure self and harness those talents and gave me education. Time passes so quickly and I am a grown up now. I have never lack of anything thanks to you. Sometimes you answer me in the weirdest way and like Master Jervie, you tend to intervene when I tried to do something stupid that you forbade. Naturally, I got angry at you although you always give me the best but my na├»ve eyes could not see. When I was seriously ill, you were there soothing my sufferings through the hands and feet of many others. You have always known how my wild heart longs for adventures and you generously send me on trips I can never afford to fund from my own pockets. Slowly, I discover the multitude of angels you have sent to guide me. They’re always storming heaven by their fervent prayers that I may be safe and good. What more can I ask for?

My Affectionate Daddy,
As I grow older, you make your presence somehow more visible. You spoil me endlessly and pamper me with many gifts. You tirelessly send people my way to help me grow alongside my journey in life. You even paint rainbows for me when I am down to remind me that you are always with me. You send birds to my windows in the morning to wake me up even though at times I am lazy and want to sleep in. You share your divine family with me to cheer me on and not give up when the going gets tough. I wonder why at times, I still doubt that you are mine and why I still feel that you are so far away.

My Adorable Daddy,
Funny how you know my heart’s deepest desires even when I never tell them to you. You are probably the only one who knows that as a little girl, I squealed in secret delight at the multitudes of stories you send my way and I tell myself I would like to be an author someday, to inspire many other girls to be brave and strong through my future stories. I guess you also knew that I was afraid of being ridiculed to aspire to become an author, afraid that I am actually no good at all when it comes to writing. You watch as I chose my way out of this dream to pursue a world of fame, glory and pleasure. Again and again, you grab my attention to turn back but often, I get so distracted I spin around and forget. Somehow you seem to know me much more than I do. You open paths that I never think possible to walk in. I guess I do belong to you. Otherwise, how will you ever know?

Daddy of My Dreams,
It must be you prompting me to pick up Daddy-Long-Legs again after so many years. That book was received by post and dated 1994. How long ago was that! As I poured myself on the pages of the book, a part of me has been re-lived and my buried dream had rose from the grave!

My Beloved Daddy,
It is beyond my knowledge whether I’ll ever be the great writer that I want to be but I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for bringing my long-forgotten dream back to me. I am more than grateful that you believe in me more than I do myself. You have been more than a daddy to me. You are my protector, provider, healer, teacher and comforter. You breathe life into my soul and gave me a purpose. You love me so much you gave your life for me. You have become my truest lover, my soul mate. Your silence speaks louder than words.

My Precious Daddy-Long-Legs,
I know you will still love me if I never become a prolific writer for that was never truly your intention. Of course, I will never stop trying because of all you have given me. I must not throw away all the lavish gifts you have bestowed upon me. You have been so good to me and no amount of things I do can ever repay your kind deeds and love. The least I can do is being the best I can be and give my very best. Daddy-Long-Legs, I know you desire above all things to draw me to you and so, I promise I will continue to write these letters to you even when I hear absolutely nothing from you. For better or for worse, in sickness or in health, I will write.

Dear GOD,
I just want you to know that I am very, very happy to have you as my very own Daddy-Long-Legs.

Yours forever and ever,
Daddy’s Little Girl,

Angelina Bong.

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